My life has become a whirlwind of probation meetings, court ordered AA meetings, court dates, and counseling meetings. Sometimes it gets almost unmanageable. Boosk leaves for school at 7:30am and I have to leave ASAP to make it to testing on time. Then to my 9am AA meeting and then to any other court ordered appointments. Plus Boosk has soccer and any other school related activities. It is exhausting. I am pretty tired all the time. I am trying to work out and go to the gym as well but sometimes it gets hard. Oh did I mention I still have to bike everywhere because I don’t have a car/can’t drive still.
Also, my tiny panther kitty Katara died very suddenly yesterday. She was fine when B and I left in the morning. My brother and I found her dead in the afternoon. Boosk and I did not handle it well. She was our baby. I miss her already. We are going to bury her in the yard. Boosk really wants another cat, but we still have 3. I want him to properly mourn her before he tries to replace her right away.
Sorry, I just needed a minute to whine.
Other than the crazy schedule and the poor Katara business life has been decent. I am meeting my new psych doctor in the next month and starting new bipolar meds. I am looking forward to that. It is getting hard to deal with my depressive states more and more. I met my court ordered counselor today. She is nice. We started talking about long term sobriety. People in my AA meetings talk about being sober for 30-40+ years 😶 I love how amazing I feel currently being sober. Waking up hangover free. Losing weight. My moods are much more balanced-ish. I know I have at least a year of “forced” sobriety. After that… After that I have NO idea where my life will go. Thinking about NEVER drinking another IPA or a whiskey makes me anxious. I guess that is why they say, one day at a time, right? She wants me to read Staying Sober: A Guide for Relapse Prevention and we can discuss it in our sessions.
Today is 131 days and I am looking forward to 131 more.