99 days a mountain of stress.

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Tomorrow is 100 sober 😮😧😦😯

I got back from my second “weekend” in jail last night. B picked me up and we got burritos and all the caffeine. That dude sure knows the way to my heart. It was nice to be home and see him and the kitties and Boosk. I miss them all when I am “in the clink”. I have met a couple girls who were in for the same change who 1. got way more time and 2. had to serve it consecutively. Makes me realize how lucky I got off in this situation. But seeing all those girls facing YEARS in jail and prison makes me realize I don’t ever want to go back there. I asked B if he was ever going to leave me becasue of this crap and he asked if I planned on going back to drinking once my probation in up. I didn’t really have to think, the answer was no. I can’t socially drink. I can’t just have a couple. I am not wired that way. And when I drink I do some really asinine shit. I am enjoying shedding weight and waking up clear headed. I love being able to hang out with the kiddo and run around and not be sickly hungover.

My bank account over drafted while I was in. I forgot I had a check com

Photo on 4-20-17 at 9.09 AM #2

i woke up like this.

ing out and e-deposited one to cover it too late. I love throwing away 50$ 🙄🤥 I got a call Monday saying my PO was out of town/unavalible and my meeting with her Thursday (today) was cancled and if I needed to talk with someone to call this other lady. I called to let her know I was using my inhaer again just incase for some reason it showed on any of my test. She, I guess, did NOT get the memo I would be in jail Wednesday morning and therefore could NOT call to see if my color was called (it was) or go and drop. So that was a fun voicemail to listen to upon being released.

Boosk is not having an easy time moving. He is happy he doesn’t live in an apartment anymore. Happy he has a yard. He is not happy that he has to go to his dad’s in the middle of the week while mommy has to be out of town. I will be SOOOOOOO glad when this is over. Two more weeks.

This is the part where people tell you that it gets easier and shit like that. But guess what, getting sober doesn’t solve all of your problems. Just makes you more clear headed to deal with them. They will still be there needing to be dealt with. Quitting the sauce just gives you the mindset to deal with them and get your life straight. You are still going to have shit days where you just want to slam a beer and forget about all of lives stupid issues. Money. Love. Bills. But guess what, you won’t becasue you will remember what happens. The week long bender. The even more unpaid bills. More fights with your SO.

So guess what, I will not drink with you today.

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2 thoughts on “99 days a mountain of stress.

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