I spent days 90 and and 91 in county jail.
I wen to court last week.
– 48 hours of community service
– 10 days in jail (time served leaves 8)
– Sobriety court*
– Hundreds of dollars in fines
I spent my first “weekend” in jail last night. I go in at 8am on Tuesday and get out on 5pm on Wednesday. It is scary and extremely boring. Being stuck in the cell was a lot of just wondering what time it was, napping, or watching cars drive by. When we were allowed out in to the “day room” where there was a clock it was a lot of me thinking about what I would be doing if I was at home. And missing Boosk and B so much it hurt. Being there made me realize I don’t ever want to do anything that will land me there. Ever again. I didn’t really talk to anyone. Which apparently made everyone want to talk to me. Orange is the New Black did not properly prepare me for what it would be like. A lot of girls were in for retail fraud and/or drugs. One girl was going through some nasty withdrawal and another girl got busted for smuggling in coke. I couldn’t imagine being there for the 20 straight days my bunk mate was looking at. I am currently back home in my own bed with my small child snuggled up next to me already getting panicky over having to go back in 5 days. I will go about my business of work and moving and soccer practice and try not to dwell on the fact.
I go in to talk to my probation officer tomorrow. I get to find out more about sobriety court*. It sounds intense and kind of terrifying, I have to call every morning and if they call my color I have to go drop. Most people get mandated to go to a certain number of AA meetings per week. But hey, at least I will get to get my license back after the 45 day hard suspension.
Between moving, work, dealing with J (baby daddy), and this weekend jail crap I am super stressed. The cravings are there, but knowing the consequences keeps me straight. I don’t want to spend a single night in that freezing cell more then I have to.