Standard

This business ain’t for the faint of heart
I fell for the bullshit
Then I started falling apart
And by the end of the summer
I let ’em get the best of me
What a god damn bummer
What a waste of my energy

My high school boyfriend, the only guy I had every loved, the guy I wanted to marry had just called and told me he slept with my best friends little sister the week prior at his going away party. My roommate suggested we drink about it.
That’s what we did.
We drank about things.
New boyfriends/girlfriends.
Got dumped.
Good nights at work.
Bad nights at work.
You get the picture. Our house was the one that was never locked, always had beer in the fridge, tequila in the freezer, and if you showed up at any time, we were ready to party.

There was a ton of people from work over. This adorable couple that worked with us stopped by. She had to leave early but he decided to say. I should note I couldn’t remember his name if you put a gun to my head, but I will forever remember her name was Brittany. There was beer. A lot of beer. And tequila. Even more tequila. I remember coming out of my black out sitting on the couch in my room, my roommate saying “I can’t believe you fucked him!”. I was hysterical. I didn’t don’t remember a thing. How do you have sex! with someone and not remember.

Sadly that was not the first time I wouldn’t remember a sexual encounter. I once came out of a black out mid sex with a bouncer from the club I frequented. This was not an individual I would have soberly pursued let alone jumped in the sack with. I have woken up in strangers beds (guys and girls) with not a shred of an idea of what took place the night before. Sometimes fully dressed, more times not.

This all transpired before I was 21.  Before I was even legally allowed to make the decision to consume alcohol.
Binge drinking and blacking out is not part of the college experience. Waking up next to a stranger without your panties and having to go to planned parenthood for a std test and the morning after pill is not part of the college experience. Looking back at sexual encounters and wondering if that might have been date rape is not part of the college experience.

You will never get those memories back. You will never figure out what happened unless the other parties involved give you a play by play. When you are black out drunk your brain straight up loses the ability to turn short term memories into long term memories.

Enjoy college. Make friends that will last you into adult hood. Ace those finals. Go to the frat parties. Join the society. But know, YOU CAN DO IT SAFELY.

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