I am laying here in bed with my son passed out next to me, thinking about the day, almost in tears. And as I process the feelings I am having and wonder why I am so emotional, I realize, these are happy tears. I had a wonderful day. I haven’t felt like this in a long time.
I spent the day with Chels and baby Hank. We just “adulted” and drank coffee together.Having someone you can do absolutely nothing with is probably the one thing I would recommend to anyone in recovery. They let you just sit in silence and spew whatever comes to mind and don’t force you to do anything but just be. She listened to all the feelings I have been having the last couple weeks. Depression, apathy, exhaustion, sadness, and just reminded me that it is all temporary, that I am making progress.
I surprised the baby tonight by not having to work. We decided that the Spring Equinox needed to be celebrated with cake and ice cream. Boosk even got to pick it out. B came over after work and helped us celebrate and hung out for a bit. We have both been so stressed and it has been a long week without seeing him so I was happy to snuggle him even for an hour. Boosk weaseled his way into bed with me (like it is so hard). He spent the weekend at his dad’s and he is usually pretty mom needy when he gets home.
Days like this make recovery easy.
Days like this make me think that it will all be okay.
Days like this are what I need to think about when I am down in the trenches fighting for every hour sober.