The spring equinox opens the veil between the physical and the spiritual so that a resurrection in our lives can be inaugurated. The keynote of this season is creation. It is the drive to move our lives upward, like a seed pushing forth out of the earth into the air. The spring is the time when the creative powers we have been nurturing through the winter can be expressed to initiate a new world of opportunities for ourselves.
The first month of my sobriety was perfect. Everything was shiney and new and NO HANGOVERS! I was feeling emotions for the first time in a long time. I was on cloud nine. The second month… garbage. The newness has worn off. I am bored. The cravings are still there. While less intense throughout the day, they sneak up on me and hit my like a mack truck leaving me breathless. I guess they say “the pink cloud has worn off”. I am in the midst of moving
and I am feeling suffocated in my apartment. Court dates are looming and giving me mass anxiety. Blah, blah, whine, blah. I could go on about this and that and how awful it is right now. But honestly, IT’S NOT THAT BAD. I have a job with managers who are willing to work with me and my situations. I have a job that allows me to pay my bills. I have a boyfriend who, while can be a bone head sometimes, loves me and is 900% supportive of the fact that I am about to do some time in the clink. My son is loved and fed and healthy. My friends are amazing.
I am using this change in the season to force myself into a new perspective.
Life is in fact, NOT. THAT. BAD.
Take my sobriety day by day.
Live in the moment.
Get out of the house.