but where did my money go?


last year i mad 40K.
from one job.
as a waitress.
with no college degree.
I support my kiddo, my brother, and myself.
with responsible spending that should have been MORE then enough to get us through the year AND save a ton.

but no.

cue the end of the year, we are still living week to week.
i still have no money in savings.
why you ask…
well let me tell you the top 5 categories (in no order) that i spent money on last year;
1. comics
2. alcohol
3. fast food/take out
4. credit card bills/over draft fees
5. emotional binge shopping trips

so any of those categories look like the are NEEDED?
no, they don’t.
i used to be so good with my money.
i got myself and my BD completely out of debt in the 7 years we were together.
but after we broke up i took out 4 credit cards (which i promptly maxed out).
and started slacking on keeping up with my bank balance (hence the over drafts).

this is absolutely no way for me to be living or raising a child.

i quit drinking (ok i am working on quitting, addiction is a bitch).
we limited out eating out to tuesday (takeout tuesday!)
we have cut back on comics (ONLY our subscriptions).
i cut up all the credit cards and am slowly paying them down.
as for the overdraft fees, i am being very careful about going to the bank numerous times a week and keeping track of every penny i make and spend.

the emotional binge shopping is an on going battle almost as bad as the drinking.
i’ll make 500$ one weekend but still feel like shit about my life.
i think a target trip will help.
i end up spending 200$+ on NOTHING (tshirts, decor, things that will end up being given away in the month), and then i just feel guilty.
i am working on this.
i am trying to go a whole month with no spending unless its a living expense (bills, food, gas, ect.).

changing your life is hard.
but living when you hate your life is even harder.
i am dragging myself out of the mess of holes i have created.
it will take time, but it is time well spent.
my son won’t grow up with a drunk mom and no food in the house.

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