eureka

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i made a huge sudden realization last night.
while talking to some co workers about money and hoe stressful it is,
i realized i make a dumb amount of money for what i do and who i support.

i am a server.
last year i made 40,000$.
i support “the baby”, myself, and aroundĀ 85% of my brother.

how is this not enough money?!?!
alcohol.
that is why.

while i am seriously working on quitting i am hoping to save a ton and FINALLY get my own place.
*********** is a great city to live in and i have no plans to leave for the next 18 years.
“the baby” is in a great school and i have a great job.
buying a house seems like the best option.
i will not be so depressed (this apartment is feeling like a jail),
and it will be nice to not have to worry about roommates and landlords.

:)

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND KINDNESS.
IT MEANS A LOT.
I AM DOING BETTER.
TRYING NOT TO BE TOO HARD ON MYSELF.
PMS’ING DOES NOT HELP.

f7xjkmyuza1py

slipped and fell.

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it’s been a long weekend.
i slipped and fell off that sober wagon i was riding so well.
“the baby” went up north and i was left by myself.
i don’t do “by myself” very well.
i had good intentions of working and going straight home.
but i got side tracked.
i don’t know why i let people who don’t even care about me talk me into getting drinks which leads to me getting wasted.

i am trying not to feel like such a failure.
i know bumps happen along the way.
i am trying to keep my head up and stay strong.

Low by Remender & Tocchini

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in honor of “read all the shit i own” month i am reading Low.
remender and tocchini did a great job of telling a story of what couldĀ happen WHEN earth is consumed by the sun.
the art is beautiful.
sometimes light and airy.
sometimes dark and scary.
just like you would expect from the bottom of the ocean.

You can get both volumes that are out for less then 20$ on amazon.
or as always check out your local comic shop.

house buying

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doing one of those “how much can i spend on a house” things
and if i pay off all but my car i can afford way more then i thought.

now just to pay off the credit cards….
976$ – capital one
359$ – meijer
659$ – amazon
465$ – lmcu
——-
2459$
204$/month and i can pay it off in a year and then start saving.
my brother, who i talked about supporting, has gotten a job!
i told him that if he would like to move anytime soon that he needs to start helping pay some bills so i can start paying off these credit cards faster.
i am also going on a spending freeze. if we don;t need it to live, we don’t need it at all.
instead of toys and theme parks this summer it looks like “the baby” and i will be spending the days at the city park and playing soccer.

what are your free summer fun activities to do??