Standard

i have been on the verge of a full blown panic attack for a couple days now.
heart trying to escape my chest.
shortness of breath,
fighting the onslaught of tears i don’t know if i will be able to stop.
and the worst part, the horrible thoughts about myself and my life i can’t see to keep at bay.

today my mom text me that her and my step father (they have been married since 2000) got into a fight and he slapped and choked her.
what the actual fuck.
she is drunk and starting shit with his kids.
i have told her a thousand times not to even contact them, but she never listens. especially when she is drinking.
i called and he answers and i talk with him for a minute. he says the only reason he has stayed for the last 5 or so years is becasue of my brother and i.
what the actual fuck.
why do people feel the need to stay in a shitty relationship becasue of kids? i will never understand.

not sure this on coming attack is gonna stay at bay much longer.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s