i have been on the verge of a full blown panic attack for a couple days now.
heart trying to escape my chest.
shortness of breath,
fighting the onslaught of tears i don’t know if i will be able to stop.
and the worst part, the horrible thoughts about myself and my life i can’t see to keep at bay.

today my mom text me that her and my step father (they have been married since 2000) got into a fight and he slapped and choked her.
what the actual fuck.
she is drunk and starting shit with his kids.
i have told her a thousand times not to even contact them, but she never listens. especially when she is drinking.
i called and he answers and i talk with him for a minute. he says the only reason he has stayed for the last 5 or so years is becasue of my brother and i.
what the actual fuck.
why do people feel the need to stay in a shitty relationship becasue of kids? i will never understand.

not sure this on coming attack is gonna stay at bay much longer.



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